Shiri

September 17th, 2008

Haha

9/17/08 01:47 pm

What's Sexy About Your Name

You are sexy because you are smart. People know that there is more to you than meets the eye.
You are alluring and mysterious. While many people are intrigued by you, the feeling isn't mutual.

It takes a lot for someone to turn you on. First and foremost, you're only attracted to someone who's incredibly brilliant.
But you just don't go for brains alone. Physical attractiveness is something you won't compromise on.

You of all people can afford to be picky. You are demanding, but you are also in demand.
And when someone gets you alone, you're truly amazing. Not many people get to see you in action.

Haha. Alam ko namang medyo kalokohan ang mga ganito. Yung tipong ilalagay mo lang yung pangalan mo tapos may result na. Pero nakakaaliw lang kasi ang daming totoo na nakalagay dito. hahaha. La lang.

Current Mood: calm

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September 16th, 2008

Not So Yearly Wish List

9/16/08 06:37 pm

1 month and 9 days more and it's my birthday. Since it's my birthday here again is my not so yearly wish list.

Material things I want:
1. The Witch of Portobello, Paulo Coelho
2. Any book that looks interesting.
3. semi-formal and casual clothes
4. lots and lots and lots of black socks
5. a really cool watch I can use at work and outside work (ayoko ng mga silver. haha)
6. year supply of pancit cotton (original AND sweet and spicy. preferably lucky me.)
7. cash!!! (even if I'm already working. haha)
8. a nice ring I could use at work
9. a messenger bag that is REALLY REALLY REALLY sturdy and big enough to put 3, 1.5 inches books. (or just any bag that can handle my things)
10. print the pictures on my laptop and phone (mga 500 pictures at the least. hehe)

Other things I want:
1. Sing with a good choir.
2. Sing with the ACMG choir.
3. To be able to feel and acknowledge His presence again.
4. Bring back my good habits.
5. A whole day with you (or more).
6. Be with ACMG once again and just hang out.
7. Love and know more my students.
8. Write on a journal again.
9. Write poems again.
10. Join JVP.

Current Location: school
Current Mood: cheerful

April 10th, 2008

Kaaliw

4/10/08 11:21 pm

Got this from a friend's multiply. Masyado akong naaliw. Haha.

Someone said, “I love you forever”
I just smiled and said,
“just warn me when forever starts to end.”

Gf na selosa: napakadami mong babae! Sabihin mo nga sakin, sino ba talaga laman ng puso mo!?
Bf: malay ko…
…ikaw yung laging may dala e.

Alam mo tumataba ka
Bumibilog
At unti-unti kang nagiging
Mundo ko, =))

A girl was teasing her friend
“ilang babae na ba minahal mo ha!?”
the guy smiled and replied
“bakit, ilan ka ba?”

            Alamat ng batang masarap sakalin.
            Hindi pumasok kahapon si pedro sa skwela, kaya tinanong siya ng kanyang guro.
            Guro: pedro, bakit wala ka kahapon?
            Pedro: absent po ako mam!

            Nanay: oh anak, musta ang 1^st date niyo ng boyfriend mo?
            Anak: ok lang ma. Sinusulat ko nga sa diary ko ngayon eh…
            …ay ma! Ano nga yung past ng virgin?

            Juan: nakakita ka na ba ng elepanteng nagtatago sa highway?
            Pedro: hindi pa, ikaw, nakakita ka na ba?
            Juan: nagtatago nga e! duh! You’re so tanga!

Successful lawyer: pedro, kada tanong ko, na di mo masagot, bigyan mo ako ng 5 piso. Pero kada tanong mo na di ko masagot, 5 libo ibibigay ko.
Pedro: ok!
lawyer: ok, ilan ang isla ng pilipinas?
Inabot ni pedro ang 5 piso
Pedro: ok, ano ang hayop na may 3 paa at pagkatapos umakyat ng bundok, 4 na ang paa?
Ginawa ng lawyer ang lahat ng pagresearch pero di masagot ang katanungan
Lawyer: o yan, 5 libo! [binigay ang 5k]. ano ba ang sagot sa tanong mo?
Pedro: [inabot ang 5 piso]

Bf: sinapak ko yung nakasalubong ko. Sabi ba naman na mukha akong magsasaka pag katabi kita.
Gf: wag ka na magalit, marangal naman ang magsasaka. Bakit ba niya yun sinabi?
Bf: kasi mukha ka raw kalabaw!
Gf: asan yung gagong yun!?

Sabi ng puso ko mahal ko siya
Sabi ng utak ko wag, hindi na tama
Sabi ko naman
O baka ikaw atay, bituka, kidney, baka gusto niyo ring magcomment!?

Anak: tay! Ako lang nakaanswer sa question ng titser ko kanina!
Tatay: very good! Anong question, anak?
Anak: sino raw ang di nakaintindi.

Isang araw, matagal na nakatitig si piglet kay pooh
Pooh: bakit ka ba ganyan tumingin sakin?
Piglet: pakshet ka! Ang taba mo kaya!? Dapat ikaw si piglet e! badtrip…

Guy1: pare, parang I love you…
Guy2: stop it pare!!
…just prove it.

Current Mood: hyper

March 26th, 2008

Ganda ng Misa

3/26/08 12:17 pm

Reply sa Pagkatapos ng ACMG

"pero kung ano talaga ang ganda ng misa? ---nakikita ba talaga yun ng marami habang nasa ACMG?
ACMGer nga ba talaga ang nakakaalam kung gaano kaganda ang misa at maipagtatanggol ito sa lahat ng kukutya dito, at sa lahat ng hindi naniniwala dito? Kaya ba ng isang ACMGer na iharap ang misa sa ibang tao at ipahayag ang kahalagahan nito hindi lamang sa buhay Kristiyano kundi sa buhay ng tao?"

Are we just servers in the mass? Maybe we do need to go back. To the roots. To the main thing that created ACMG.

Current Location: in silence
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: One Thing

March 25th, 2008

pagkatapos ng ACMG

3/25/08 05:09 pm

Kaninang umaga nagkaroon ng mass practice. As in nagpractice sila ng buong mass with songs, responses. etc. At ito ang nakita ko. Hindi sila kumakanta kahit ilang beses nang sabihin na kumanta. Tila ba ikamamatay nila pag kumanta sila kahit ng isang linya lang. Pero sige patawarin na natin yun. Ang mga readers hindi nagbobow pagpapunta ng altar. Pero sige patawarin na natin yun. Pero ang mga ito hindi ko na mapatawad. Kung magbasa akala mo nagbabasa lang ng petiks na babasahin. Mas maganda pa nga nilang basahin yung mga petiks na babasahing yun. Mabilis, nagmamadali, walang buhay, walang pakialam. Ang tayo nila akala mo tumatambay lang sa tabi-tabi. Ang pag respond nila wala lang. Kung hindi pilit, niloloko ang pagkasabi. Habang naghihintay na nakatayo o nakaupo hindi nakikinig, matinding daldalan sa katabi. Sabihin na nating landakan na pambabastos. At ni hindi iniinda ng nagtuturo. Nakakainis. Nakakapang-galaiti. Nakakagalit. Ganun pala talaga pag naranasan mo na ang ganda ng misa.

Pero mas nakakalungkot at nakakainis ay yung wala man lamang akong ginawa. Sinasabi ko lang dun sa katabi ko, sa pag-asang sabihin niya sa nagtuturo. Hiya na rin siguro dahil bago ako at akalain nila kung sino akong nagmamagaling. Pero dapat talaga ginawa ko na lang. Sinabi ko na lang na sana ayusin nila. Isang malaking pagsisisi. Dahil ang misa, hindi lang ito isang seremonya. Higit pa ito dun. Isang makabuluhang pagdiriwang na hindi pinepetiks-petiks lang.

Ikaw, ACMGer, naransan mo na ang ganda ng misa. Natutunan mo kung ano ang dapat at bakit ito dapat sa loob ng ACMG. Ano na ang gagawin mo pagnakalabas ka na ng ACMG (o kahit habang nasa ACMG ka pa) sa mga ganitong sitwasyon? Hanggang saan ang pagiging ACMGer mo?

Sabi natin, "One thing I ask, to dwell in the house of the Lord all my days". Hanggang saan ACMGers, hanggang kailan natin to paninindigan? Hanggang saan, hanggang kailan natin ito pananatilihing katotohanan?

Current Location: in silence
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: One Thing

March 17th, 2008

Yellow and Green Heart

3/17/08 04:42 pm

Your Heart is Yellow and Green

Your heart is caring and generous.
You are kind, understanding, and forgiving.
You bring objectivity and rationality to relationships.
You're good at giving your partner freedom and space.

Haha. Yellow and green heart. Parang lumot...I grow in you. Haha.

Current Location: RIS
Current Mood: awake

March 6th, 2008

Random Thoughts

3/6/08 07:30 pm

natapos ko na mga grades. sana tama yung mga natapos kong grades, haha. inputting na lang ako ng grades tomorrow. sana kumuha na ng mis assessments yung mga situdyanteng kailangan yun. ang tagal dumating ng kasabay ko. nakapagupload na ako ng maraming pictures, haha. nagugutom na ata ako. pagod na naman ako. sarap ng tulog ko kagabi. mas masaya yung paggising ko =). friday na! pwede akong mag first friday tom!
makukuha ko na rin at last pera ko sa IBM. sana makakuha na ako ng cedula bukas. kailangan ko pa palang gawin yung mga pencils para sa aking mga mahal na estudyante. gusto ko nang matulog na walang iniisip munang kung anu-anong trabaho. tagal dumating. haha.

Current Location: reedley
Current Mood: awake

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February 28th, 2008

intellectual orgasm

2/28/08 09:03 pm

Kanina nagkaroon kami ng curriculum review. Tinignan namin kung ang curriculum ba namin ay sang-ayon sa napiling standards ng school. At hindi lang ang curriculum ng level ng tinuturuan namin ang nireview namin kundi mula grade 1 hanggang 4th year highschool. Nakakatuwa at intellectually stimulating o intellectually orgasmic talaga ang paggawa o pagbago ng curriculum. Hindi ito naging madali pero makikita mo na sa bawat hakbang ng proseso lahat talaga ng teachers nagtutulungan at nag-aanalyze. It was a really good experience especially since it's my first time to teach. I never thought it would be that fun (pero challenging talaga) and I nevr thought I would be this excited. I'm really looking forward to teaching next school year. At isa pang mas nakakaexcite, kung maging successful itong bagong system namin sa curriculum, I would be part of the first batch of teachers who have done this system in the WHOLE WORLD. Whole world ha. Hindi lang Pilipinas. Grabe kaexcite talaga. Haha. Ito yung mga panahon sa buhay ko na nasasabi ko ulit sa sarili ko na tama ang naging desisyon ko na magresign. Haha. i love this job and I see myself growing and growing old in this job.

Current Location: room
Current Mood: excited

February 12th, 2008

Makita Kang Muli

2/12/08 10:53 pm

Was listening to it in NWC. I now find it funny. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Current Location: room
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: NWC songs

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February 8th, 2008

Like the Flowing River, Paulo Coelho

2/8/08 07:40 am

When something undesirable grows in my soul, I ask God to give me the same courage to mercilessly pluck it out. --- Prepared for Battle, But with a Few Doubts

A warrior of light, once he has done his duty and transformed his intention into gesture, need fear nothing else: he has done what he should have done. He did not allow himself to be paralyzed by fear. Even if the arrow failed to hit the target, he will have another opportunity because he did not give in to cowardice. --- The Way of the Bow

That simple desire to share something meant that we could enter the world of language without words, where everything is always clear, and there is no danger of being misinterpreted. --- Prague, 1981

Even when a friend does something you do no like, he continues to be your friend. --- Genghis Khan and His Falcon

Any action committed in anger is an action doomed to failure. --- Genghis Khan and His Falcon

Sometimes the world asks us to fight for things we do no understand, and whose significance we will never discover. --- I Can't Get In

Every human being has the right to search for happiness, and by "happiness" is meant something that makes that individual feel content, not necessarily something that makes other people content. --- Statutes for the New Milenium

It is only courage on the path itself that makes the path appear. --- Statutes for the New Milenium

We see the evil in others because we know the evil in ourselves. We never forgive those who wound us because we believe that we would never be forgiven. We say the painful truth to others because we want to hide it from ourselves. We show our strength, so that no one can see our frailty. That is why, whenever you judge your brother, be aware that it is you who is in the dock. --- The Art of Withdrawal, Okakura Kakuzo

Current Location: Comp place
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: aircon sounds

Kindness

2/8/08 06:55 am

    I was never known as the kind person, especially in college. But I do not do bad things either. It's just that I'm not the type of person who believes in the humanistic approach. I'm not the type who offers help to people nor am I a comforting friend. I'm not the type who smiles and greets everyone and all those kind stuff kind people do. Thus, people and even friends joke about how hard it is for me to be kind to someone when I try. Back then, I would say, "Kaya ko naman. Mabait naman ako no. Hindi naman mahirap. Hindi lang kasi talaga ako ganun".

    I'm now teaching in an international school and I am handling high school students (this should say everything). The thrust of the school is kindness, believing in the humanistic approach of understanding and relating with people especially with the kids. The headmaster even said that it's always kindness over justice. Upon learning that this is their thrust I never thought I would have a hard time. Though I'm not the kindest person on earth, I'm one who seeks and can actually understand people's situation, which is almost close to being kind. Then, I started to teach.

    In school, I have the most angelic students but I also have students who are...I don't even know how to describe them. Of course, I anticipated that not all students would be good ones or well behaved. But I never imagined this kind of situation. Students playing the guitar while I am teaching. Students who openly talks in front of me. Students who simply stands up and loiter around the classroom. Students who insults my cellphone and a lot more ways of misbehaving. As I've said I do not believe in the humanistic approach. But since I am a teacher in a school that believes in kindness, no matter how much I wanted to get angry and shout at them, I have to comply. I have to be kind and never make them feel that I do not like them, rather, I do not like what they did. I believe in this manner of conflict resolution but sometimes I just get into the point wherein I believe that it is really the child and what he/she did. Worse than this, I can't even reprimand the student outright. I have to use a kiss-kick-kiss form of processing so that they will not feel too bad. But THIS IS NOT ME. I say things bluntly. When I think you're wrong I say you are wrong and explain it in the most detailed and frank manner. Everything is clear. No kiss. Just a kick. I my better days, it's just a kiss-kick. But I always end with a kick for you to realize just how much I did not like what you did. BUT I CAN'T DO IT IN SCHOOL because I have to be kind. It's frustrating.

    So, to all those who joked about me having a hard time being kind, you win.

    I AM HAVING A HARD TIME BEING KIND.

Current Location: in that school
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: High School Life, some old OPM

September 30th, 2007

Nakakalungkot

9/30/07 06:25 pm

   Nakakalungkot isipin na the people who welcomed you and kept you for so long is not so welcoming anymore. Siguro kasalanan ko din dahil sa mga pinaggagawa ko. Buti kung ako lang ang napapahamak, kaso hindi. May iba na mas nasasaktan at mas naaapektuhan. And I'm very sorry for that. Hindi ko lang kasi inakalang magiging ganun, lalo na at ang mga taong yun ang mga taong akala kong lubos kong mapagkakatiwalaan. Mali ko din siguro na mag-akala.

   Nakakalungkot isipin na pakiramdam ko hindi ko na kayang harapin ulit ang mga taong minsang minhal ko na may ngiti at saya. Ni ayoko nang magpakita sa kanila. Dati, I was so enthusiastis to keep the connection with them simply because they have helped me so much through out college. I did find who I was through them. Pero ngayon parang ayoko nang bumalik. I knew things would change but I never expected that it will change so much and would change this way.

   Nakakalungkot lang isipin na ang minsang naging sandalan, takbuhan, at halos naging tahanan ko na ay nawawala na. Mahirap nang balikan, sandalan, takbuhan.

    Nakakalungkot isiping naniniwala na ata ako na wala na akong babalikan.

    Nakakalungkot lang.

Current Location: past
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: One Thing

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August 3rd, 2007

Flight # 603

8/3/07 08:33 pm

excerpt from Flight # 603
Donna Hartley, Chocolate for a Woman's Soul

An explosion shattered the aircraft. Survivors ran past me, screaming and crying. Slowly, I limped after them, toward a wire fence. I had walked away from death.

A disaster cuts right to the heart of life. It separates the chaff of pretense from the wheat of truth. It brings out a common denominator of love and compassion for fellow sufferers. A young woman, shaken and crying uncontrollably, clung to the arm of a man who comforted her. An elderly woman sobbed in the arms of a lady friend, who rocked her dearly, as if she were a child. Husbands held their wives as they never had before. Straight from their souls came love, each person giving and receiving in unashamed need.

Current Location: workstation
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: people's laughter

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Stopping place

8/3/07 08:19 pm

excerpt from COOL BLADES ON THE BOARDWALK
Pam Gross, Chocolate for a Woman's Soul

I was rollerblading on the boardwalk at Seaside, Oregon, on a glorious late-summer afternoon...
Getting tired, I informed my husband that on the next pass I wanted to stop. "OK," he said. "I'll be ready". Stopping is not yet a skill I have mastered. As I approached him, I slowed to a more manageable speed. He stood up, swung his arms wide, and enfolded me in a great hug. "I am your stopping place," he whispered. And I thought: Yes. What a wonderful metaphor. You are my safe, comfortable stopping post.

You are my stopping place.

Current Location: in my stopping place
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Psalm 73

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Reaching Beyond

8/3/07 05:02 pm

REACHING BEYOND
Suzy Sutton, Chocolate for a Woman's Soul

Do you reach beyond to touch the sky,
     or lag behind, afraid to try?
Do you reach beyond to learn anew,
     or hesitate---the same old you?
Do you reach beyond to test your limit,
     or do you tell yourself, I'm timid?
Do you reach beyond to lead the pack,
     or do you waste time looking back?
Do you reach beyond and strive to find
     better ways to stretch your mind?
Do you reach beyond to care and share
     and help some others do and dare?
Do you reach beyond , expect the best,
     or have you given up the quest?
Do you reach beyond and claim your space,
     here and now, this time, this place?
Do you reach beyond and try to soar,
    or, sadly, play it safe once more?

Current Location: workstation
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: silence

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June 18th, 2007

Pasanin ng lipunan

6/18/07 03:56 pm

HINDI NA!!! hahahaa. Makikisama na ako sa mga Atenista na napakarami at mga ACMGers na napakarami rin sa IBM. hehe Good luck to me!

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May 16th, 2007

CMO

5/16/07 04:42 pm

Kasalukuyan akong nasa RSF at tuwang-tuwa. Bakit? Kasi ang saya ng mga pangyayari.

Kanina lang kausap ko si Kuya Joey tungkol sa pagiging CMO. OO, seryoso na ako na gusto kong mag CMO. Dati rin akala ko joke ko lang yun kasi hindi ako maka-let go sa ACMG. Pero nung nalaman kong may possible opening ang CMO na-excite ako. Sa unang pagkakataon na excite ako sa isang job opening. Dito ko lang naramdaman yun. Ang dami ko nang mga interviews pero ni isa dun hindi ako na-excite. Dito lahat na ng feelings naramdaman ko.

Nung nalaman kong lilipat pala si Ate Nancy sa OSA yung puso ko tumalon. Nabigla akong matutuwa pala akong malaman na pwede akong mag-apply sa CMO. Kaya yun dali-dali akong nakipag-appointment kay Kuya Joey nang malaman ko naman kung ano ba ang pinapasukan ko. Nakipag-appointment ako. Take note: APPOINTMENT. Ibig sabihin talagang I made sure that we will be able to talk about being in CMO. Research kung baga. Sa ibang companies hindi ko to ginawa.

Nung patapos na kaming mag-usap ni Kuya Joey sabi niya makipag-usap ako kay Fr. Bob since wala siya ngayon. Sabi niya bukas. E hindi ako pwede sabi ko kasi hindi ako pwedeng umalis ng sunod-sunod na araw. So makipag-appointment muna daw ako through Ate Monette. Nung papatayo na ako narinig ko ang very familiar voice. Fr. Bob is in the building! At wala na akong sinayang na segundo at pinuntahan ko siya at sabi ko "Fr. Bob, I'm thinking of entering CMO". Ang sagot niya, "Are you crazy???" and I said, "YES, Father I am crazy". Masungit daw siya at ang sabi ko, "I know father I had an experience". Tapos kinausap na niya ako. Dapat mag-uusap kami ngayon ng 5 pm. Pero sa isip ko wag muna ngayon. Masyado akong masaya. hahaha. So bukas daw ng 4 pm. Siyempre pupunta ako. Kahit kanina sabi ko ayaw ko. Dapat kasi in 3 weeks ko pa sya makakausap pagbalik niya from a retreat. Pero dumating siya na dapat naman wala siya. So na-excite naman ako. Is it a sign? hahhahhaaha. Coincidence or not napaaga ang aming pag-uusap at mas gusto ko yun.

"Are you crazy??? Masungit ako. Naninigaw ako". Sa loob-loob ko, PAKI KO! Kaya kita. hhahahaha. Mild pa daw yun sabi ni Ate Monette. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, you don't know my father. hahahaha. Kaya ko yun. Kakayanin ko yun. Ako pa. hindi yun sagabal sa akin. Gusto ko sa CMO at sapat na yun para balewalain ang mga ganitong klase ng rason.

Baka nga crazy ako. hahaha. Bakit ko nga ba gusto mag CMO. Dati hindi ko ito sineseryosos kasi nga after graduation nasa Ateneo na naman ako at sa MVP pa. Hello! parang hindi na ako umalis. Pero nung naexcite ako alam kong gusto ko na pala talagang pumasok dito. Pero diniscern ko muna. Kasi una, baka hindi pa nga ako maka-let go sa ACMG kaya ko gustong mag CMO. Pangalawa, baka natatakot lang akong mag try ng new things. Pangatlo, baka gusto ko lang mapalapit sa mga mahal ko. Pang-apat, baka nga nababaliw lang ako. Pero nung inisip ko, ni isa sa mga ito wala sa rason ko kung bakit ko gusto sa CMO. Kung rason man sila nasa pinakahuli na ng listahan o kaya bonus na lang yung iba.

Gusto ko mag CMO dahil gusto kong magkaroon pa rin ng kapit sa Diyos. Sa corporate world alam kong mahihirapan ako. Gusto ko sa CMO kasi gusto kong makirelate sa mga estudyante in a daily basis. Hindi lang yung nagbibigay ako ng mga advice na pakonti-konti. Gusto kong maka-inspire ng mga kabataan. Gusto kong ipahiwatig sa kanila kung papaano ko nakita ang Diyos dito sa Ateneo. Gusto kong mag CMO kasi ang skills ko na talagang alam kong meron ako e magagamit ko ng husto dito. Sabi ni Fr. Bob he needs someone who is aggressive, assertive, and someone who could talk to students. Alam kong kaya ko yun. And has he forgotten our talk about LMM? Haha. Ang katangi-tanging nilalang na nagtaas sa kanya ng boses sa meeting na yun. Too think late akong dumating dahi may class ako. Anong assertion at aggression pa ang gusto mo? hahaha. Pero alam ko namang mas matindi pa dun ang kailangan ko. At alam kong kaya ko yun. Gusto ko mag CMO dahil it's the closest thing to social work kasi nga ang corporate world ay hindi talaga para sa akin. Pera lang ang habol ko sa mga corporasyon. Fulfillment ang habol ko sa CMO. Bukod pa dito, yung ibang mga benefits nito sobrang bonus. At ang the best na rason nito ay umaayon ang pagiging CMO ko (if ever) sa calling ko na bumalik sa pamilya ko. I have my own time kapag nag CMO ako. Thus more time with my family. Ang galing di ba?

Marami pang rason na hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit ko gusto mag CMO. Alam kong maraming disadvantage din to pero sabi ng puso ko ito ang gusto ko.

Minsan ko lang sundin ang puso ko. Ngayon ko siya gustong sundin.

Kaya sa mga mahal kong kaibigan, maaaring ang iba sa inyo ay hindi sang-ayon sa aking desisyon. Pero sana ipagdasal niyo na makuha ko itong posisyon na ito bago pa ako matanggap sa kung anong korporasyon. Nagmamakaawa ako. Samahan niyo ko magdasal na sana nga mapunta ako sa CMO. Nararamdaman kong dito ako sasaya. Magkaroon man ng problema higit pa rin ang saya at fulfillment na maibibigay nito sa akin. I just know. Sabi ng puso ko. At hindi ito Angel of Darkness dahil nararamdaman ko ang kapayapaan ng loob sa pagdesisyon kong mag-apply sa CMO.

For the second time I will do something for my own good and not for my parents. The first one gave me my identity and my true friends. Sana ito makuha ko rin at maranasan ang anumang maaari kong makuha dito.

Lord, I really want this. I really do. Nagsusumigaw po ang puso at buong pagkatao ko na gusto ko ito. Pahintulutan Niyo po akong makuha ang pagkakataong ito at muli Kayong mapagsilbihan. Lord, I beg You. I BEG YOU.

Current Location: RSF
Current Mood: ibang klaseng kaligayahan
Current Music: Fr. Bob's voice!

March 31st, 2007

yey!

3/31/07 02:45 pm

Finally, I've graduated. But honestly, it wasn't all that. hehehe. Hindi ako sobrang saya at hindi rin naman malungkot. Okay lang. hahahahahaha. And my brother told me he felt the same way when he graduated. Mas masaya lang at proud ako sa parents ko dahil napagtapos nila kaming 4 na magkakapatid and all in the top schools (2 sisters-UST, kuya-UP, me-Ateneo). Ang galing talaga nila.

I didn't get any honors or any award. In grade school I wasn't satisfied that I was only top 6. In high school I felt really bad (as in naging psychosomatic ako. I felt sick during the mass. hahaha) that I didn't get any award. Loyalty award lang (hello? award pa ba yun?). Pero ngayon I didn't feel bad. Ito na nga yung pinakamasaya kong graduation. Naisip ko kasi kahit walang award or honors okay lang. What I got from college is far greater than any award I could receive.

Hay ito na. Bagong yugto na.

Current Mood: accomplished

February 11th, 2007

on love

2/11/07 07:42 pm

Sabi ni Joe d'Mango sa Y-speak, "true love is continuing to love someone even if you don't find anything lovable in that person".

Siguro totoo nga. At isang patunay nito ay ang mom at dad ko at lalo na ang mom ko. My parents have been married for 37 years. At ayon sa mommy ko at sa mga kapatid ko, ang 37 taong ito ay hindi naging madali. Dumaan sila sa matinding hirap kung saan ni singko ay wala sila. Dumaan din sila sa panahong inakala ng nanay ko na nambababae ang tatay ko. Dumaan sila sa puntong maghihiwalay na sila pero dumating ako sa buhay nila. Pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan pa rin nila ngayon ang pag-aalaga sa isa't-isa lalo ng nanay ko sa tatay ko. Lahat ito at marahil higit pa ay pinagdaanan ng nanay at tatay ko ngunit hanggang ngayon mahal pa rin nila ang isa't-isa at magkasama pa rin sila.

Pero mas bilib ako kay mama. My mom was a very intelligent, confident, and dominating lady when she was young. She's an achiever at umaamin siyang meron talaga siyang superiority complex. So ang nanay ko nung dalaga siya ay parang ako times 3 (pero mas babae siya sa akin ng di hamak. hahaha). Pero nung nag-asawa siya halos lahat ng ito nagbago. Ang dating napaka-dominanteng babae ay naging halos submissive na asawa. Ang dating napakadaldal at expressive na babae ay naging tahimik. Ang biro nga niya, dati ay "What Aurora (my mom's name) wants, Aurora gets". Pero nung nag-asawa siya naging "Aurora sit. Aurora stand".I n short, my mom humbled herself when she got married. She quit her job when my dad told her to do so. Whatever my dad says, she follows. Yun pa lang ay nakakabilib na dahil isang malaking pagbabago yun para sa kanya. Lahat ng kanyang pagmamataas ay kanyang iniwan dahil sa paggalang at pagmamahal niya kay papa. Don't get me wrong. hindi naman mapang-api ang tatay ko. Mabait si papa, mahal din niya ng sobra si mama. Pero dahil sa naging buhay niya, iba ang paraan niya ng pagpapakita ng pagmamahal.

Mas nakakabilib pa kay mama ay ang pagtitiis niya kay papa. Si papa, dahil sa klase ng buhay na meron siya noong bata siya, ay tila may matigas na puso. Parang wala siyang emosyon. Walang pakialam kung nakakasakit ng tao basta alam niyang tama siya. Masakit magsalita, hindi sensitibo. Tila manhid pero hindi naman talaga. Parang bato. So, parang ako times 4. At lahat ng ito tiniis ng nanay ko. Sabi nga namin kami lang talaga ang makakatiis sa tatay ko. Pero iba ang pagtitiis ni mama. 37 taon ng pagtitiis. Pero kung tatanungin mo nanay ko, hindi siya nagtiis. Lahat ng ginawa niya ginusto niya dahil sa pagmamahal niya kay papa. Sa panahong parang wala nang kagusto-gusto kay papa alam niyang sa likod ng pagmamatigas na yun ay isang taong marunong magmahal ng lubos. Habang kami ay bwisit na bwisit na at galit na galit kay papa, si mama, patuloy na papaintindi sa amin na ganyan talaga siya at patawarin na lang namin siya.

Bukod pa rito, mula nang nagkasakit si papa hanggang sa ngayon patuloy pa ring inaalagan ni mama si papa. Kahit sobra na ang kakulitan ni papa at minsan ay nakakasakit na siya, patuloy pa rin si mama sa pag-aalaga sa kanya. Patuloy pa rin ang pag-aalala niya na may mangyaring hindi maganda kay papa. Dito ko nakita na through thick and thin talaga mamahalin ni mama si papa.

Grabe ang pagmamahal na to. Nakakabilib. Nakakamangha. Tunay na pag-ibig nga.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Pananatili

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my values profile

2/11/07 03:42 pm

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties (oo nga. pero mas considerate na ako ngayon. haha).
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You value honesty a fair amount.
You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it.
If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it.
In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need (true. kung mas marami lang akong resources, e).
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility highly.
You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.
And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better (hmmm...parang hindi masyado. I love being praised. haha. hindi ko lang pinahahalata).
You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance a fair amount.
You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas.
You have very few prejudices that you're aware of.
And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Ang sarap, sarap ng tissue paper mo...

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